 According to some statistics more than a half of the newly married couples plead for a divorce in a short time. Today I found out that one of my aqcuaintance divorced only two months after marriage. Even though he got married being 26, and they were dating for a long time. Another friend of mine, was 23 when he decided to get married with a student, young girl. He had a good jog, great salary and thought he was ready for marriage. A year later they also divorced. And there are so many stories like that, which make me very very sad. What made them to divorce? What happened is pretty simple, they just couldn't find the same language, don't fit together.
After such stories I presume that living together before marriage is a small thing, which can exempt you from divorce. You don't depend on your partner, you don't have any legal obligations. All you do is live together and have fun. In fact being in such a situation doesn't mean that it is different from marriage. It's not different from marriage. You both are doing all the same stuff as a married couple, even sometimes having a commune budget. But still it keeps some essential difference from marriage - you can easily break up, and there is no need to complete any documents, to wait for a legal official divorce and so on. You just leave.
A lot of men prefer this "living together" to marriage. I suppose that many of them would be happy not to get married at all. Probably because they always leave a chance for another situation, for another woman perhaps. I don't really know what they think, but sometimes it may be very offensive. Women behave themselves totally opposite. They are searching for one single man (most of women). If you found the perfect man, you are not thinking about any other in future, you don't leave any chances and "opened doors".
I'm living with my boyfriend together for 1.5 year. We are not married, and I wonder sometimes and ask him "is he leaving the idea of some other girl in his life, if not than what is he waiting for?"
maybe someone can share his ideas about this theme, please leave your comments. |
- Cassiopeoa said...
-
Now, that I have been married for a bit more than five years my SO has tendencies to pull away.
I learned he just married me because "the ritual meant so much" to me, he does not care for it, neither feels we are closer, rather more distant because we married.
He values his freedom above all else, even above our relationship -- where I saw us getting married as being a step towards more intimacy and a deeper friendship.
Women have this romantic notion of weddings and marriage. We dream of our special day: dressed in a gown, looking like a princess (since most of us womenfolk are not in a princess position, we at least get this one day in our lives when we at least can get a taste of what it feels like). We get pampered and fussed about.
As well, finalizing a contract of "ever lasting love" has a romantic ring to it, where men just see chains, women see closeness and intimacy.
Do not get married if he does not ask you, if you care for advice. Your relationship might end up being cracked on those differences in opinion.
Verena
-
- Girl said...
-
Thank you soooo much for your comment Verena
I think the same, and I don't want to be annoying with this marriage. And I feel very sorry for your story, but what can we do, this is how men are... :(
|
|
