Family life is always what both have to work on. This is a state when everything is permanently changing from good to bad and from bad to good. The important thing is to keep the interest to each other alive and to maintain the feelings.

A lot of couples need an urgent marriage counseling. There are many problems which drive them to a divorce, but it is very simple to change the situation. So how to define a crisis?

– if the atmosphere is too quite, there are no quarrels, or contrary there are two many scandals – this means that a family crisis is near.

– when “fighting” each is protecting his own position and doesn’t want to agree with the other.

– when one partner is evading from sexual activity.

– when one partner takes all decisions by himself.

– both disagree on a certain problem and always fight about it.

– the wife is dedicated her self to her family and children, and doesn’t care about herself, how she looks.

Every person that lived a longer period in a family, knows that normally crisis appear at the same time at most couples. This means there are certain periods when you have to wait for a marriage crisis and need a marriage counseling. There are several crisis, and I am going to describe them.

First Family Crisis:
First years, people get used to each other, and that’s why the first crisis appears in the first 2 years. The man acts feeling like he is the king of the place and does everything he wants around the house. The wife is trying to take care of everything and clean the house. The man doesn’t want to give up on his habits, and the woman doesn’t want to become his second mother. The romantic atmosphere is dissipating with time and we start to understand that the person we chose is not an ideal one. Psychologists believe that if both partners love each other, they will easily pass the test.

Crisis of the first child:
After the first Crisis ends, if they both pass it with success, the second crisis comes after 2,3 years. So they decide to have a child. When the child is born, the woman pays all her attention to her child, and her husband feel lonely. He can be even jealous because of that. Besides that he is not sexually satisfied and sees more and more disadvantages in his wife. He is getting nervous and can easily cheat on his wife. That’s why they often fight about different problems, because of their nervous state. This crisis happens due to the thing that both parents are just not ready for the child. If they are ready morally and physically, than this won’t ever happen.

Come back crisis:
After couple of years, when the wife is getting back to her social and professional life there appears a crisis again. She has many things to do: home work, care about her child and husband, work responsibility and look good at the same time. The woman is very emotional in this period. That’s why they always quarrel about the responsibilities and rights, and potentially the wife may start cheating on the fifth year of marriage approximately.
This is the perfect time for a man to save the marriage by offering more attention to his wife, bring some flowers and presents, start a new wave.

Monotone crisis:
The following crisis appears after 7 years of marriage. When everything is fine and arranged, life accommodation, sexual relations, material state etc. The initiator of a divorce is usually the wife. Most of the men say that their wifes don’t care about them, they are not interested in their activities, ignore them. That’s why men start to cheat, but those relations are not serious yet. The husband is not ready yet for destroying his family.
Both have to understand that their marriage is more important than all those other relations and other things.

40 year old Crisis:
when there is 40 years of marriage, there appears the main crisis. Women are morally not ready for climax, she is getting nervous all the time. Children are grown up enough, which can not serve as a counter-argument against a divorce.
Every 5th men is getting married again after 40-50 years. Most of them marry women that are much younger, like 15-20 years younger. Others just change women all the time. He starts to understand that there won’t happen anything new and positive for him. That everything what was the best in his life has already passed.
To pass over this period you have to start a new life. To start traveling, to start doing things for both of you and pay more attention.

It is important to remember to be attentive one to another and to show love all the time. Keep the person feeling that you always love him. When there appears a family crisis, both husband and wife to understand it and to have a desire of solving the problem. Both have to work on it and save their marriage. Try to find a concesus, don’t start to scream. Try to listen to your partner if you want to keep your love. Marriage counseling is better than a divorce.
Love each other! And please leave your comments.